I want to be emotionless and I want to put you out of my head. I want to be free, I need to be empty again. I want to understand everything, I want this battle to end. I want reason to prevail over emotion, I want emotion to die. I don’t want my heart to lead my life, I don’t need my soul to tell me how I’m supposed to act, how I’m supposed to be. In a battle between mind and heart, heart always wins. Take my heart away. I don’t want it, I don’t need it.

I want to understand me. I need to understand me. God knows I don’t understand me. My heart ’s been throwing me around, been playing with me, been mocking me, been putting images in my head. I can’t fight it, I can’t beat it, I can’t run from it. I’m crossing the line, no reason can pull me back now. I’m falling down and there’s no one to pick me up, not even me, lying broken here under the bright autumn sky. The eyes are watching over me, blue as the rainy day, rainy as my heart feels right now.

Reason ’s been failing over me. Loosing it’s battle year after year, month after month, day after day, time after time. Lost in a maze with no exits, with no paths, no real strength left. Some battles you just can’t win, and some battles are just fought in vain. Time tells me it’s alright, yet emotion makes time stop. “It’s alright,” said a wise man, they called him Time.

Solitude is freedom, apathy is bliss. I want to be free. I want me to die, I want me to be reborn. I want passion to cease and reason to rise. I can’t bring any more walls down, there’s to many battles to fight. Scarred is my body, blank is my mind, but my emotion is burning still, burning bright, burning hot red, shooting down my stars.

The grain fields are loosing it’s horizons, the sky has reached it’s limit. It’s a silhouette I can’t erase from my mind, it’s a face carved in my heart. It’s a voice I don’t know, are the lips I keep on mine. It’s the heart I don’t know, the one I keep close to mine. It’s the soul I know nothing about, the one I carry in my left hand. It’s the mind that’s been broken, searching it’s way out. It’s the mind that has been beaten, lying under the altar of soul. It’s the human touch that’s been missing, that keeps me tangled with it’s promise of love. It’s the love I’ve been searching, the love we know nothing about. It’s the love I want, the love that’s been meant for somebody else to take it’s part.

If there are tears that can bring me peace, let them fall. Let them fall ’till there’s a promise of better days. If tears can bring heart to a normal beat, let them fall. Let them fall, let them for me to be reborn.

I guess they were right when they said the world was turning to gray. I don’t want it to be gray. I don’t want to see you in gray. I want your colors to shine. Your colors to shine through mine. I want my colors to shine. And I want my colors to die. If I only knew what path to take, what turning to take.

It’s bearing me down, it is. I can’t see any more, I can’t hear anymore, I can’t talk anymore. I hope I don’t see you anymore. I know I’ll see you again someday after tomorrow. I know my sight will go blank again someday after tomorrow. I hope I don’t see you anymore.

Heart ’s been carving it’s own shape in my brain. A shape with no shape, with no explanation, no sense, no color, no sound, no existence. Shaping it’s own feeling, the shape of a world crushing down. I don’t need answers, I need peace.

Grow me my wings back, for I want to fly. Break my wings, so I never forget what is it like to fly. Take my heart and let it rot there for years to come. I want my heart to stop dreaming, I want it to erase the Illusion of my world, I just want to be free again. Free without dreaming of wings to take me away, without emotion to take it’s part.

The emptiness from which I could feed, the love from which I could die.